I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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