Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize