census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
