Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
