I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
