2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
