Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
