Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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