I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I supernannyed him into submission
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
