please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
