Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
