You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
