I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
