Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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