She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
