plz talk dirty to me
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
My cat gives me a boner
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
