Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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