Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
