dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
