they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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