It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize