This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
