yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
