I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
