please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
