I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
