Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
