Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Randomize
