Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
