He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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