After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
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I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
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I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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