OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
