If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
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I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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