It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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