I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
