wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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