so that wasnt chicken after all
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
