why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
