Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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