isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I want you more than these girls want KFC
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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