i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
