this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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