wrigley field is MILF paradise
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
