Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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