I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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