got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Be still, my beating vagina.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
