actually, I'm a sock model
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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