I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
