she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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