Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
