Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
did i walk over a car last night?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just want nice things and good sex
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
