You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I CAN MOONWALK!
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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