i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
