She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
