We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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