So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Welp...herpes.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize