guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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